A man who can’t whip up his own guacamole is a man who’s surrendered to overpriced, mushy imposters. You deserve better. Real guacamole isn’t just food—it’s fuel. It’s the difference between weakness and vitality, between dependency and self-reliance.
Guacamole isn’t just a dip. It’s a test. Can you handle fresh ingredients? Can you balance flavors like you’d balance strength and strategy? The weak buy pre-made. The strong make their own.
Eat it with steak. Eat it with eggs. Hell, eat it straight from the bowl. But make it yourself.
Because a man who controls his food controls his future.
Here’s how to make it right. No shortcuts. No apologies.
Ingredients (for men who measure with their instincts):
- 2 ripe avocados – Not rock-hard, not brown sludge. Test them like you’d test a blade: firm but yielding.
- 1 lime – Fresh. None of that bottled nonsense.
- 1 small onion – Diced fine. Precision matters in knives and cooking.
- 1 jalapeño – Seeds in if you’ve got grit, out if you’re easing into the fight.
- Handful of cilantro – Chop it like you mean it.
- Salt – Real salt. Not the ghostly dust they sell to the masses.
- Optional (for men who take risks): A dash of cumin, a clove of crushed garlic.
Instructions (for those who follow orders from no one):
- Cut the avocados – Split them open, remove the pit, and scoop the flesh into a bowl. Mash it rough with a fork. This isn’t baby food. Leave it chunky.
- Squeeze the lime – Half now, half later. Acid keeps things sharp—just like your mind should be.
- Add the onion, jalapeño, cilantro – Stir like you’re mixing gunpowder. Careful, but decisive.
- Season – Salt to taste. Taste again. Adjust. A man who doesn’t taste his food is a man who doesn’t respect his body.
- Serve immediately – Or cover tight and stash it. Oxidation is the enemy—same as complacency.